Archive for the ‘Nicht kategorisiert’ Category

on not knowing what you want

März 29, 2016

After finishing your studies you start applying to jobs to finally enter the real world. Leave the comfy zone that  academic life has provided for -in my case- quite a few years. But you have no experience and the job market and its opportunities feel overwhelming. How to choose what you are fit for?

Well, my strategy has been to apply to any opening that slightly fit my cultural/heritage background. And to be honest, for now I have not had the problem of choosing between all those marvelous challenges, as all I ever receive are Thanks-for-your-interest-but-we-have-opted-for-a-more-qualified-candidate-Emails. Over the past couple of months I have developed anxiety disorders. Every time my phone signals a message I am scared to check it as it could be my Email-account with yet a new message turning me down.

I have started applying to jobs that are less connected to my field of study, yet more close to the assistant positions I have held during that time. But neither I am qualified for those, I have not been fully trained in that field. Also, I am not sure if this is what I want to do full time. I loved it on the side and have appreciated it being something that I could close the door at night to and not keep working all night – like projects that had to be finished in a certain time. Easy tasks. Though tasks I loved. But if I get a job there, how easy will it be to return to the field of studies which I feel I love just equally… Also, that I put so much effort into learning! Everyone has put so much effort in supporting me to see it through. How will it be possible to not feel like an utter disappointment. The time of studies wasted?

How do I make a decision like this? One to determine so much of my life? Sure I will go to the interview and give it my best shot. Also, I am quite sure I would accept the job, too, if they actually offered it after that. Still, always knowing there are so many more applications pending, so many things I would like to do, but that are also intimidating.


on girl rising

März 4, 2016

“You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation.” – Brigham Young

I want everyone to watch that movie! It is an incredible documentary that introduces us to a number of girls that stood up for themselves, stood up for what they believe in, stood up for a generation of young women growing up. I was stunned by their stories and the marvelous story telling the team behind this project managed. Captivating, Fascinating, Heart wrenching.

Those girls portrayed come from marginalized realms of society. Yet, they all face their life with inspiring motivation and ambition to learn, develop their ideas and conquer the world. They face hardships in a variety of form, yet, the most crucial one is finances of their families and traditional cultural mindsets. In some of the stories, the parents go without luxury in benefit of their girls and always have their back. In some, particularly fathers follow traditions and do undermine the girl’s potentials. Even suppress any personal drive and interest the girl has.

-my body is a resource that could be spend for men’s pleasure or profit-

No girl should ever have to face such a revelation! Educating girls is a long-term investment that is bound to improve society.

  • Two-thirds of the774 million illiterate people in the world are female
  • If all mothers completed primary education, maternal deaths would be reduced by two-thirds, saving 98,000 lives
  • If all girls had a secondary education, there would be two-thirds fewer child marriages
  • There are also 34million female adolescents out of school, missing out on the chance to learn vital skills for work (UNESCO 2013)

Education is the stepping stone to a career of ones own, to an independent life, to the ability to support your family, to change. All of the girls featured are on the verge of taking their life in their own hands. They will be role models for generations to come. I am tired of seeing girls struggle. Seeing women struggle for their rights. Even in Europe, North America, the so called developed world, women still face many obstacles in living a self-determined life. Women not getting into leading job positions, not receiving equal pay. This issue is not as far from us as we would like to push it. So let’s keep working towards changing the world.

-this life is mine to make – I am change –

On writing a Master Thesis

Januar 27, 2016

The purpose of academic life is to absorb and generate knowledge. Not absorb in the learn-by-heart kind of way, but by questioning it critically and acquiring the skills and mindset to do so. If you make it to the last semester of your study program, you get to the icing of the cake: the THESIS! A scary looking word lingering over your head since the first semester. There are so many aspects to consider: a topic interesting enough to motivate you over the course of six months, a topic future-oriented enough to recommend you for a job afterwards, supervisors interested in your topic and willing to take the time to guide you through this, a topic with enough literature to draw from, but not too much so your topic lacks innovation and last but not least, the money you need to drink away your sorrows every night! psychological stamina to get through this process.

At first I was drawn to a topic that sounded interesting and looked promising to convince family and friends I was actually researching something useful: Uncomfortable Heritage and Communities. Well, turns out most of the Uncomfortable Heritage that I was considering to expand on in Germany is connected to WWII and those in other countries are not as well document, not to say the sources are completely unreliable as the government wrote their history in a way it suits them. Quickly, I was utterly bored by all this war stuff and history, with a quiet and sweet voice constantly whispering into my ear.

Turns out, this voice that I had been trying to silence and ignore was my heart asking me to follow it as I should have from the beginning. With almost four month of research into the now even more uncomfortable topic, I decided to abandon it and switch to something I had been talking about since starting this Master Program: the Balinese Rice Terraces and their sustainable development. I have been writing every single assignment in this program (except for one) on heritage sites in Indonesia, which probably drove everyone crazy, but helped me to switch to that topic more or less last minute.

Although I was encouraged by very good friends of mine, who talked me through the process, going through pros and cons of this rather daunting step and assured me if this is what I wanted I should pursue it, I was afraid to tell my family. In fact, I didn’t. I felt pressured through their constant support and them believing in me as if they had never been let down by me ever before. I am not saying that this is a bad thing, alas, I would not have made it this far without them. I just put so much pressure on myself not to fail them and also not to fail me. Now that I am done, my Thesis being currently printed, I fear of what is to come next. I managed to push that thought away while writing, although I did simultaneously send out applications, but now it has become so more imminent.

It is frightening to step out of the cozy academic world where you know you belong because of your love for learning, research and writing. You know you have the experience in that field only and forget that you also have more practical skills acquired in internships and small jobs, but you do not feel qualified for anything else in the real word… However, I am not the first one to step out of this world and try something new. I made it through the Thesis, so how hard can the next thing be? 😉 Kidding, it’s gonna be extremely hard, I know.
But I am ready. I am ready to take on a new challenge, open a new chapter of my life. My thesis is probably not what everyone expects, what I expected when I started, but it is my contribution and I hope to take those theoretical assumptions of mine and actually test their feasibility some day. Some day, when I am back to Bali, what I have been dreaming of for the past six months… Aku kembali ke bali nanti!

Everyone currently in the process of writing: hang in there! It will be over at some point and you will be proud! Proud of what you managed, proud enough to tell your families, proud enough to thank them and everyone else for their constant support, although sometimes you really didn’t want people compassionately asking how you were doing. They mean well!
Thank you! Termina kasih banyak! Danke!

Die Minions – Der Film

August 6, 2015

Ihr wisst schon, diese kleinen gelben Wesen mit einem scheinbar unzerstörbarem Drang dem Bösen zu dienen! Kaum zu verstehen, außer sie schreien nach „Banana“. Seit einigen Wochen läuft ihr erster eigener Film auf den großen Leinwänden dieser Welt, nachdem sie mit „Ich, einfach unverbesserlich“ groß rauskamen.
Ein paar Worte zu dem Film, bevor ich mich wiederhole und ihn allen, aber auch wirklich allen ganz unbedingt ans Herz legen will. Neben den unglaublich witzigen Szenarien in die die kleinen Gelben immer wieder geraten und die mich so herzhaft haben lachen lassen wie lang nicht mehr, hat mich ein Aspekt besonders begeistert, ja verzaubert. Die Minions haben keine richtige eigene Sprache, stattdessen scheinen sie, wahrscheinlich um sich weltweit möglichst jedem „big Boss“-Bösewicht anbiedern zu können, aus alles Sprachen ein paar Wörter übernommen und verständigen sich inetwas, das man wahrscheinlich mit der Idee des Esperanto vergleichen könnte. Gerade, wenn man die lateinisch-verwurzelten Sprachen (oder zumindest eine davon) gut beherrscht versteht man doch überraschen viel von dem gesagten.

Ich bin mir sicher, spielte man den Film einem internationalen Publikum vor, man die verschiedenen Sprachgruppen an unterschiedlichen Stellen aufhorchen und verwundert über das vernehmen ihnen bekannter Worte aufschreien hören könnte. So ging es mir zumindest, da ich ja glücklicherweise sowohl lateinische Grundlagen als auch Spanisch gut beherrsche konnte ich mich an vielen Stellen freuen. Auch als es am Ende im Londoner Untergrund heißt „Entschuldigung“ konnte ich mir meine deutliche Freude nicht verkneifen. Höhepunkt war allerdings die Schlussszene in der Bob’s Teddy eine Krone bekommt und er „terima kasih“ sagt. Indonesisch (!) für Danke!

Eine Großartige Idee! Wenn das nicht zur Völkerverständigung beitragen kann weiß ich auch nicht 🙂 Ich hoffe auf einen Fortsetzung!

The uncertainty of our times

Mai 27, 2015

Reading „The Opposite of Loneliness“ by Marina Keegan left me with the worst bookish hangover I have had in a while. Why is that? Because the collection of her short stories and essays is extremely profound and catches the spirit of our times as I perceive it so appropriately. It takes time to digest this unprecedented insight into an author. Writing a book means pouring out your thoughts and soul for an enormous amount of people to read that you will never know, but who will assume they got to know you through your writing. I admire that kind of courage and therefore keep being blown away by literature. However, I struggle to describe Keegans style with other words than pure, real, understanding, stunning, grabbing. It took me a while to understand it and prepare myself to fully emerge into it, but it was so worth it.

The uncertainty of our times is a big issue for so many of our younger generation. We try to appreciate all the opportunities provided by our parents and grandparents, yet being overwhelmed by all the options leaving us indecisive.We want to save the world being fed up with the economic restraints coming with our oh so ideological goals. And in the eyes of the older generations we can see confusion, a mild reminiscence of their own younger aims and the expectations towards us to grow up soon and find our place in society. And who says that we are not trying to do exactly that? Find our place. It just feels so much harder to choose what we want to do for our whole life. And who says our plans weren’t entirely different from what our parents expect? Who says I didn’t desire a stable job in the beginning of my 20’s that would allow me to have my first child by 24. Who says I didn’t dream of this rather boring life without adventures happening hundreds or even thousands of kilometers away? Who says that would not have made me happy? Yet, I get scolding looks and comments who only deepen my insecurity and doubts about choices I have made, about plans I abandoned, about the person I have become.

What I have lived through, who I have learned from, what I have chosen to accomplish made me the person I am today. Whether you like it or not, whether I like it or not, the goals I have are still my goals and I need to at least try to fulfill them. Not having tried seems to be the most devastating failure anyway. We all have to deal with the times and their uncertainties and surprises and I know it is challenging for everyone.

And in the end, what does it say about our world, that we all want to change it so badly? The question is whether it is humans inability to ever be at peace and satisfied with any status quo or if our world truly needs and deserves a makeover. I am looking forward to be part of and witness to the upcoming developments and will keep hoping and working for change to happen, goals to be achieved and, foremost, our dreams to come true.

Virunga National Park, Congo – Movie recommendation!

Januar 22, 2015

The Virunga National Park was inscribed on UNESCO’s World Heritage List in 1979 on behalf of the Democratic Republic of Congo, under criteria (vii), (viii) and (x).

„Virunga National Park is unique with its active chain of volcanoes and rich diversity of habitats that surpass those of any other African park. [ …]The property includes the spectacular massifs of Rwenzori and Virunga Mountains containing the two most active volcanoes of Africa. The wide diversity of habitats produces exceptional biodiversity, notably endemic species and rare and globally threatened species such as the mountain gorilla.“

It has been on the List for World Heritage in Danger for almost 20 years now due to the continuous political instabilities. Recently, another threat for Nature Conservation has started to invade the agenda. SOCO, an oil company, started test drills in a rather questionable, illegal way. A documentary covers these issues in a very sensitive but straight forward approach, telling the story of a few passionate people that take incredible risks for Nature Conservation and in the hope of a better future. It has just been nominated for this year’s Academy Awards and should be watched! (available on NetFlix)


more info:

The movie tore my heart apart and put it right back together. How our world has started to put business above anything else, forgetting how nature is what keeps us breathing and makes life on earth worthwhile is a devastating realisation that we are confronted with- every day. However, gaining insights into the life and conviction of people so passionate they’d give their life for it is breathtakingly reassuring and supporting. It makes me feel I am not the only idealist left and there actually seem to be people able to make a living staying true to their principles, which mostly in our society seems to be a myth.
I truly hope this documentary will succeed in spreading the word of what is happening in Virunga National Park and encourage other Parks to present their cases and develop earnest and truthful solutions.

Conservation should not be war. It should be a joined cause that unites people in their desire to build a future and preserve earth for the coming generations.

Helsinki – Stadt der seltsamen Kirchen

Januar 22, 2015

Ich gebe zu, es ist nun schon zwei Monate her, dass ich aufgrund einer Exkursion nach Finnland geflogen bin, aber berichten muss ich nun doch noch!

Helsinki ist die Hauptstadt Finnlands und beheimated rund 622,000 Einwohner auf etwa 715km². Erste erwähnenswerte Berichte über die Stadt reichen bis 1550 zurück, als Schwedens König Gustav I die Stadt als Handelszentrum ausbauen wollte, welches dem hanseatischen Reval als Konkurrenz gegenüberstehen sollte, was leider nicht ganz aufging.

Erst als im 18.Jh die Festung Sveaborg auf den vorgelagerten Inselgruppen als Verteidigung gegen das russische Reich errichtet wurde, begann Helsinki als militärstrategischer Stützpunkt einen Namen zu erlangen. 1809 besiegte Russland Schweden und etablierte das Großherzogtum Finnland, was Helsinki endgültig zu einer ernstzunehmenden Stadt machte.

Wegen eben jener Festung hat es uns nach Helsinki geführt. Sie ist auf sechs Inseln erbaut und gehört aufgrund der verschiedenen architektonischen Einflüsse als Beispiel europäischer Militärbauweisen zu der Liste der UNESCO Weltkulturerbe. Ein Tagesausflug führt einen entlang des Befestigungswalls und ermöglicht einem eine neue Perspektive auf die Silhouette Helsinkis. Die wenigen Restriktionen geben außerdem den Weg frei auf ein idyllisches Picknick am Wasser auf weniger schroffen, ja eher einladenden Klippen. Das Museum bietet einen wundervollen Einblick in die Geschichte, so wie die Bedeutung des Ortes für Helsinki und Finnland. Die belassenen Kanonen und historischen Stellungen vermitteln einem gerade an Wintertagen, wenn die Inseln nicht von Touristen überlaufen sind, anschaulich worin jene Architektur besteht.

Für mehr Infos:

P1140030 P1140038 P1140044 P1140048 P1140056 P1140099 P1140116

Mit der Fähre ist man in Null-Komma-Nichts dort und wieder zurück, um die Stadt an sich zu erkunden. Herauszustellen sind vor allem Helsinkis verschiedene Kirchen. Die Weiße Kirche steht direkt auf dem zentralen Platz und ist eher klassisch. Die orthodoxe Basilika ist schon vom Hafen ein beeindruckender, wenn auch eher unerwarteter Anblick. Die Steinkirche weiter im Norden der Stadt hat mich am meisten fasziniert. Aufgrund des Krieges wurde sie nicht wie vorgesehen errichtet, sondern in den Stein gehauen und vor Luftangriffen versteckt, oder besser getarnt. Die Akustik ist unbeschreiblich. Wir hatten das Glück einem kostenlosen Konzert, dem Weihnachtsoratoium von Saint-Saens, zu lauschen und ich würde jedem empfehlen unbedingt den Kulturkalender Helsinkis zu checken, wenn er anreist.

Empfehlen möchte ich außerdem Rentier-Burger! Sehr schmackhaft und woh das finnischste was ich in den vier Tagen gegessen habe. Zusammenfassend ist Helsinki eine herrlich unaufgeregte Stadt. Klein, gemütlich, und im Winter voll von knuffigen Kindern in Schneeanzügen. 🙂



Why I love football

Juli 13, 2014

It is World Cup Final Day and the world goes crazy, I think it is only appropriate to add a short comment from my side.
I love football. Especially during international competitions I like that it finally makes Germany show their flag and show a little bit of pride.
I love it because it creates identity and makes us feel like belonging to a group.
I love it, because a goal makes random people hug each other though they have never met before.
I love it, because the suspense before penalties tears a hole into my stomach.
I love it, because everyone just sings those songs that are so easy to learn.

I know it is ridiculous how much they get paid and I know there is a huge gap between countries and women’s soccer is still not appreciated as much as it should be…

However, I love football, because for 90 minutes I can just forget the world around me. Leave stress and sorrows behind to cheer and have a beer and enjoy the time with friends and fellow supporters!

„It’ll all work out“

Juni 6, 2014

Tom Petty’s song deals with a broken relationship that he tries to overcome telling himself „It’ll all work out eventually“. I think this relates to all levels of life.
We all struggle. It does not matter whether we have troubles in our professional or private life, whether we are responsible for things that go wrong or we can blame it on others. Life goes wrong for all of us, all the time. Though I wish that my family and friends were better off with life than me, I am somewhat relieved, that I am not alone with the stones that keep rolling onto the road that seemed so perfectly paved in my mind.
It’ll all work out, anyway. Maybe not the way we envisioned, but how desirable is that, really?

I appreciate the hours that I spend under my desk, seeking the comfort of a dark, clearly confined and easily controlled space that belongs to me alone. It makes me consciously think through the situation before me and the steps that have to be taken to overcome it, being aware, that the actual results probably won’t even be close to this plan.
But do we really wish to always end up where we wanted? Isn’t that plain boring? Wouldn’t we miss the surprises life so generously gifts?

I know everyone is striving for some goals. But what happens if we really reach those goals, especially when we don’t have to put up a fight to actually get there? Wouldn’t it feel undeserved and stale?

It’ll all work out, eventually.

I know struggling and fighting is hard, but the things hardest to achieve are the sweetest ones. So even if you have to cry or admit your weakness at some point, keep up the fight!
It’ll all work out! It always does in one way or another. Don’t judge too soon, who knows, it’ll most probably be worth it!


April 18, 2014

Curse or Chance?
Our life is filled with expectations. Each day that we start brings a dozen of them we have to face.

Essentially, I would believe there are two types of expectations. That ones that you have onto something else or others and those that others have towards you. The second type being the harder one, given you are aware of them. Your own expectations are a mere matter of management. You have to make sure to expect only little. Then you’ll be surprised. Positively. And in case this doesn’t work you are at least able to somehow find an explanation for the disappointment, since you are mainly responsible for it yourself. This is why I value traveling on my own so much. I don’t have to respond to anyone else’s expectations! I can do whatever I want. I didn’t manage to see all that I expected on one day? Well, I know I took my time to stroll around randomly to see even grater and maybe even more pure things. Like sitting in a park watching the people walking by, trying to guess how their lives are shaped by expectations, dreams and, finally, reality.

Expectations directed towards you are mainly so hard to live up to, because most of the time you are not in control and no-one talks about them specifically, so that your mind easily wonders of in circles around the possible shortcomings of your actions. These expectations may hit you on all levels of life. Family, friends or work… „Don’t worry about what the others say“, is such a well-intended, innocent line used to clam you down, though whoever uses it is quite aware of its inefficiency. We define ourselves in categories which are based very much on otherness as opposed to our self-image. We need boundaries and mirrors to realize our position within the complicated system of society. Which inevitably means to confront the expectations towards oneself.
The problem is, that we don’t have full control over our lives. Some of those expectations we don’t even have a chance to fulfill and others we probably shouldn’t even attempt for whatever reasons. As cheasy as the above mentioned phrase sounds, as true it is. We should so much more worry about our own expectations and live up to them, cause we are the ones that have to be satisfied with the way we spent our time in the end.

But still, how do you stop thinking about that eerie mountain of expectations piling up before you without a plan or tools to climb it and master it or tear it town. Or is there a way to construct a tunnel through it?